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 Lynx's Asari Application

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RisingFalcon



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PostSubject: Lynx's Asari Application   Tue May 31, 2016 9:15 pm

Steam Information

Steam Name: Lynx_Abydos

Steam ID: STEAM_0:0:59541686

Steam Profile Link: http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198079349100/

RP Experience: Staff member of three StarWarsRP servers and high ranking member within 5 and a few MilitaryRP servers

Tell me a cool Mass Effect Fact: The Asari are a purely female race. Because of this, they don't mate in the traditional sense, instead they meld. Melding is where an Asari blends her consciousness with another being (that doesn't have to be Asari)

Character Information

Basic Information

Character Name: Lynx Abydos
>Species: Asari
>Eye Colour: Indigo with small gold rings by the irides
>Skin Colour: About the same color as a pure-bred Asari but with a more purple hue

Age: 579

Character Equipment: M-97 Viper sniper rifle, M-9 Tempest, and M-5 Phalanx

Moral Alignment: Lynx Abydos is currently completely Neutral

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths: Lynx is very patient and level-headed. She also has a lot of experience with the galaxy due to her age and interest in knowledge. She also has focused a lot of time with a sniper rifle, honing her long range abilities.

Weaknesses: Lynx is extremely slow to trust others and is still haunted to this day by the loss of her regiment on Zephyr by frequent nightmares and sudden flashbacks. She is also extremely weak when it comes to using melee and shotguns. Furthermore, the loss of her parents and everyone else from Methuselah makes her even more wary of Krogans and she has neglected to train herself physically and as a result, is very lacking in hand to hand combat and in physical strength. While she is a very powerful biotic user, her sudden shift in learning has made her unable to have complete control over her abilities at times.

Personal History
Lynx Abydos is currently a Freelancing Assassin. Her story starts about 500 years ago, on her home planet of PSR B1620-26 b (better known as Methuselah). Her parents had come to this planet around 1400 CE to work as Librarians for the Great Library, the largest center of knowledge and learning in the galaxy. Lynx Abydos (at the time, Orianna Udjat) spent the first 76 years of her life in the Great Library, learning all about the current and past cultures of the galaxy and working on controlling her extremely powerful biotic abilities. She lived a happy life with her parents on Methuselah until she was 76. A couple of months past her 76th birthday, the Librarians were alerted of a band of Krogan headed to the Great Library, wanting its knowledge to assist them in their conquest of the entire galaxy as revenge for the Genophage that had been inflicted upon their kind. The Librarians, including Lynx's parents, quickly used their biotics to teleport and seal the Great Library deep under the surface of Methuselah. Many of the Librarians lost their lives from the sheer amount of energy needed for such a task. Unfortunately, both of Lynx's parents were consumed while saving the library. The Krogan had no clue that the Great Library had been sealed away from all until they landed on the planet. They took the now-orphaned Lynx as a prisoner aboard their ship. Once aboard, Lynx unleashed her anger and sorrow upon the Krogan. With a blinding flash, her captors were torn apart at the atomic level, leaving nothing of the squad of Krogan that were watching her behind. Lynx then blasted the door off of the ship and escaped. Once she knew that she was safe from the Krogan, she then contacted the rest of the Asari. The Asari then sent a powerful dreadnought to Methuselah, quickly wiping out the Krogan ship.

The Asari brought her back to their home-world and finished her training in biotics, honing her into a lethal weapon. Lynx then joined the Asari's militia on Thessia and quickly climbed the ranks to become an Asari Colonel. She lead many successful battles against rebellious Krogan and mercenary groups on Thessia. After over a century of fighting for the Asari, she was leading her 2,500 soldiers into a final battle against the combined forces of the three largest mercenary factions on Thessia. She had pushed the mercenaries back into a small part of Zephyr when all of the sudden, a flare was launched into the air by one of her Lieutenants. Following the flare, a massive army of 10,000 Krogan rebels charged Lynx's regiment from behind, surrounding them. Lynx then tore the traitorous Asari in half before ordering her soldiers into a circle formation around her, trying to call for help from the main Asari militia while her soldiers gallantly tried to hold off the now attackers that outnumbered her regiment almost 7:1. The battle lasted for several days but eventually, her regiment couldn't hold the line anymore and the combined forces of the Krogan rebels and mercenaries pushed through, wiping out her entire regiment. Just as they broke down the door of her command post, she was suddenly teleported onto an Asari dreadnought that had just appeared in the sky of Zephyr. As she was just regaining her bearings, the ship bombarded the city into dust, destroying all of the Krogan rebels and mercenaries. Asari High Command had decided to sacrifice Lynx's entire regiment to ensure the defeat of the twisted factions. Lynx was bewildered once she had realized what they had done. She stole one of the fastest Asari ships from the dreadnought and deserted her post as an Asari Colonel. Now on the run from the Asari, she changed her name to Lynx Abydos and payed a forger to help build her new identity. Homeless and now a completely new person, she wandered the galaxy as a freelancing assassin for centuries, taking jobs as she sees fit and learning many dirty skills from the dark parts of the worlds that she travels.

This wandering has now brought her to the Geisha, where she has decided to stay to try and find a cause that calls her name.


Last edited by RisingFalcon on Mon Jun 06, 2016 12:50 am; edited 22 times in total (Reason for editing : Weaker weaknesses and Reapers and timeline and Anonymous (because of da Legion in their saying) and improved presentation)
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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Tue May 31, 2016 9:31 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Tue May 31, 2016 9:54 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Tue May 31, 2016 9:55 pm

[Old Post]


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[KiloSE7EN]

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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Thu Jun 02, 2016 7:47 pm

Love the lore in this. I checked the timeline and it all adds up.

Constructive crticism time: personally I'd like to see more weaknesses for this character. She is a powerful biotic and a great sniper, but her only weaknesses are she is "somewhat lacking" in close-range combat. How about she's terrible in close-range combat? In my opinion, a strong biotic character who is also a good shot should have a few more physical, combatative weaknesses.

Also you mentioned that "she is extremely slow to trust others" as well as "she also tends to be very cautious around everyone". That's kind of the same thing; maybe condense those two weaknesses into one and give her something really debilitating. PTSD that makes her lose focus? Strong fear/dislike of Krogans? Just some ideas.

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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:13 pm

xD This is awesome Done Lynx, completely Re-Written, Follows Lore
and has some of that badassness 5 Stars!
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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:57 pm

KiloSE7EN wrote:
Love the lore in this. I checked the timeline and it all adds up.

Constructive crticism time: personally I'd like to see more weaknesses for this character. She is a powerful biotic and a great sniper, but her only weaknesses are she is "somewhat lacking" in close-range combat. How about she's terrible in close-range combat? In my opinion, a strong biotic character who is also a good shot should have a few more physical, combatative weaknesses.

Also you mentioned that "she is extremely slow to trust others" as well as "she also tends to be very cautious around everyone". That's kind of the same thing; maybe condense those two weaknesses into one and give her something really debilitating. PTSD that makes her lose focus? Strong fear/dislike of Krogans? Just some ideas.

The lore does not fit, at least in regards to the krogan rebellions, which were roughly 1400 years ago from the current point in the timeline.
http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline

Although I do really like the custom lore here about this great library, I feel like there wasn't enough information about it. What is public knowledge about it in the galaxy? It's a good app, and it feels like you tried to really give the character some weaknesses to match their strengths, but I'd still like to see more on this library.
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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Fri Jun 03, 2016 12:06 am

Filtershakes wrote:
KiloSE7EN wrote:
Love the lore in this. I checked the timeline and it all adds up.

Constructive crticism time: personally I'd like to see more weaknesses for this character. She is a powerful biotic and a great sniper, but her only weaknesses are she is "somewhat lacking" in close-range combat. How about she's terrible in close-range combat? In my opinion, a strong biotic character who is also a good shot should have a few more physical, combatative weaknesses.

Also you mentioned that "she is extremely slow to trust others" as well as "she also tends to be very cautious around everyone". That's kind of the same thing; maybe condense those two weaknesses into one and give her something really debilitating. PTSD that makes her lose focus? Strong fear/dislike of Krogans? Just some ideas.

The lore does not fit, at least in regards to the krogan rebellions, which were roughly 1400 years ago from the current point in the timeline.
http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline

Although I do really like the custom lore here about this great library, I feel like there wasn't enough information about it. What is public knowledge about it in the galaxy? It's a good app, and it feels like you tried to really give the character some weaknesses to match their strengths, but I'd still like to see more on this library.

Thank you for the feedback! I'll try and alter that to fit timeline better!
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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Fri Jun 03, 2016 12:49 am

Tell me when you fix the few things and Ill give it a look.

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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Sat Jun 04, 2016 11:57 am

Filtershakes wrote:

The lore does not fit, at least in regards to the krogan rebellions, which were roughly 1400 years ago from the current point in the timeline.
http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline

Although I do really like the custom lore here about this great library, I feel like there wasn't enough information about it. What is public knowledge about it in the galaxy? It's a good app, and it feels like you tried to really give the character some weaknesses to match their strengths, but I'd still like to see more on this library.

When I read the application, whatever version it was, there wasn't anything hinting that the Krogans attacked the library during the Krogan Rebellion. The Genophage began in 710 CE and the Rebellion ended in 800 CE, but IIRC, Krogans have always been looking for a cure to the Genophage, so I felt it was still fitting. The Great Library would have been moved underground in 1680 CE in OP's timeline. (2183-579+76). If the OP had said something about the Krogan Rebellion obviously that would have been a red flag.

I haven't had a chance to fully reread the updated app but I can tell you've put a lot of work into it RisingFalcon! I feel this character is much more balanced now. Nice work.

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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Sun Jun 05, 2016 2:59 pm

welp

now people applying for Tier Three have Expectations, thats why i'll stick with Hoomans and Turians!

and good work Lynx (Steam Name) im Proud of you!
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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Mon Jun 06, 2016 7:58 pm

Moved to pending.

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PostSubject: Re: Lynx's Asari Application   Mon Jun 27, 2016 9:04 pm

Put alot of work into this, took criticism and made it better. As long as you dont roleplay. Just remember with the biotics that with great power. Comes great responsiblity. Welcome aboard.

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