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 Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.

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Lord Commander Satan

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PostSubject: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:47 pm

Steam Name:Satan
Steam ID:STEAM_0:0:46949564
Steam Profile Link:http://steamcommunity.com/id/naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail/home
Age: 16
Rp Experience: Five Years
How did you stumble upon our server?: I know the kiddos.
Tell me a cool Mass Effect Fact: Krogans have four balls.

Character Name: Jobakur Grud
Character Race: Krogan
Why did you choose this race?: Dude I fuckin' love Krogan. They are honestly my favorite race and I would enjoy to roleplay one again.
Age: 1,400 years.
What can your character do for our ship? (Muscle, Maintenance, Triggerman, Comedic Act, etc.):  Muscle, he's the one that comes around for his heavy lifting. Oh, yeah. He's amazing cook. He'll cook everything.
Character Equipment:Heavy Krogan armor, befitting a Warlord. Graal Thrower, M8 Avenger.
Moral Alignment: CN
Strengths:
Marksman-Having several thousand years to practice, he is a fierce Riflemen being able to pick a Varren off at 500 yards.
Iron Will- Having been through the thick of it, and being quiet sick of it. Grud has found himself being able to push his body to the limits.
Krogan-While still not as strong as the much younger Krogan, he has found himself still remaining physically stronger then many of the races that are aboard.

Weaknesses:
Anti-Social- Grud has never gotten along with many people, he tends to be a general ass to those around him.
Old- Being one of the older Krogans he finds himself being brittle and weak compared to his Brothers.
Short-Tempered- He has a short fuse and it can be quick to light. He has little control of what he gets angry at and what he doesn't.
Character Backstory a.ka. how or why are you here (One paragraph minimum, be creative!):

I said short-summary, but this sort of just happened. Sorry, I guess.

Jobakur Grud was brought into the galaxy in the midst of the Krogan Rebellions, circa 700 CE. The Galaxy had once again boiled over with yet another immense conflict of a particular scale in which the Krogan advance and expansion was finally contested by the Council, following a decisive victory over the Ranchi incursion. He was not born into a particularly valorous way of life – much like many Krogan at the time. Rather, his swift onset of maturity was merely exploited – he would have been cast into the war of attrition that was the grinder, composed of an entire array of Council forces. Grud was quickly taught to despise his foe, for they challenged the claim of his kind. They were weak, and the Krogan were stronger and more plentiful. This natural pecking order insisted that their right to dominance was established.

Despite the various campaigns and losses that he saw through, he had managed to endure through some uncanny measure of misfortune. Rather than dying alongside the rest of his younger kindred, he would eventually come to witness the surrender of his kind – whilst likewise playing host to what was perhaps the greatest controversy the Galaxy could have ever conceived.  Born into warfare, his upbringing was not centralized on the traditions of clan life, and although he was deemed as one from Clan ‘Jobakur’, he demonstrated little to no regard to the word of his superiors. They’d failed to ensure that victory was theirs, and he carried a bitter weight with him as he passed on from Tuchanka. He would come to establish himself as a Pirate among the seedier spawn of the Galaxy, selling himself off so he could continue his violent throes yet still. He walked among the many Krogan who had left to consign themselves to an eventual death away from the hostile sands of their homeworld.

He was a Krogan, however – a hardy creature that would not readily succumb to a decisive end. It would take more than the dangers of simple thuggery to evoke death. He treated the misfortune that he carried, like many of his kind, like a harsh burden. To know that his kind’s eventual annihilation was forthright led him to act out of sheer arrogance and self-righteousness, for there would be no respite – not for him, or any other Krogan when it came to the day that they would perish. For the duration that he was alive, he would make the most out of what he could, furthering his own cause.

This steely resolve and boiling anger that he had held, however, began to churn into a drowsy melancholy with the passage of time. A creed of eternal war brought no sense of fulfilment, for it changed nothing. He was yet one individual, a single piece from the image of a broken species. No matter how much he could have tried, the fate of his kind would have yet remained steadfast. Every dead Krogan was nigh impossible to replace. Everything else in the Galaxy was simply plentiful in comparison, and much easier to replace no less. The gradual euphoria of battle began to grow dull over centuries, turning what was once a raucous warmonger into a halcyon being. He acknowledged that he was yet transient, and it was in the instance of the passing eighth century of age that he had come to truly acknowledge just what he had wrought.

He wore the guise of a warrior well. Through his trophies, he had earned an array of equipment – although in his endeavour to return to Tuchanka, he would have simply offloaded most of it to those who would have given such tools a practical purpose. Such weapons were made to shed blood, but his passage to the homeworld was not one with ill intention. Two centuries were spent in reflection alone, under the guise of the Clan that he had belonged to. He sought to take in the old traditions and history of his people – an opportunity that he had missed when he was brought into life, only to be cast into warfare. Grud wanted to understand just what would be lost if his kind were to truly perish due to the genophage, for his past experiences had merely convinced him that a species of warmongers would merely cease to threaten the galaxy. He no longer wished to be a part of the problem in this regard.

Despite everything, however. His spoils would not promise him an easy life. The credits that he had accrued would only go so far. Grud, in the advent of the eleventh century of his life, took to the premise of simply using the experience gained through his long-life of warfare as a bargaining chip for various odd-jobs. He sought to keep himself occupied, ever clinging to the hope that there may have yet come a day where his kin could have earned a pardon from their fate. Grud had no legacy despite his age, although he knew that it was more or less out of the question due to the genophage. He confided no doubt to himself over the fact that he would seek to change this should the situation of proven him capable of doing so, but as things were – he was yet to remain on the job of ensuring that he could yet support himself through both ‘legal’ and ‘less-than-legal’ avenues.

His equipment was provided on the job most of the time as per a part of his demands, although he made a strict point of carrying a personal raiment alongside him wherever he went. A gross and grisly memoir to older, bloodier times. A token to reinforce his experience as much as it was a tool to promote his longevity. Even fourteen centuries into his life (a notion derived from the advent of the rebellion, as opposed to an actual birth-date), he yet confided a sense of stalwart duty to his own motives. So long as he had a steady income of credits in his name, there was little that could go wrong. He spared indulgence and luxury in the name of accruing something worthy of a legacy in credit – the purpose of which was yet to be decided. There would come a time where it would have purpose, but for now, he yet maintained his creed of work; he latest of which carried him to the drab regions in Hiromi city. He would have saw himself contracted by the Syndicate which ran an immense red sand operation, just one more line of work in his stead. He would have found himself boarding the Geisha – a retrofitted Batarian vessel made to transport numerous kinds of goods.


Last edited by Lord Commander Satan on Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:09 pm; edited 6 times in total
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TheMightyDRGN

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:49 pm

+Support. I know Satan's a great roleplayer, and he'd be a great Krogan. I think he's savvy enough to portray a Krogan like this.
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Crystallized0Rose

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 12:13 am

Lord Commander Satan wrote:
Steam ID:Later
Steam Profile Link:Later.

We know where you live.  We'll find you eventually.

Lord Commander Satan wrote:
Character Equipment:Heavy Krogan armor, befitting a Warlord

What?  That's all he has?  Being 1,400 years old and all he carries with him is his armor?

Lord Commander Satan wrote:
Strengths: Being a Krogan he has a large amount of Phsyical Stride, Mental Pride and Battle Hard.
Weaknesses: Tempering a metal can make it brittle. The countless centuries that’ve passed have otherwise jaded Grud's atypical approach to warfare, and they’re hardly a keen edge when it comes to displaying their prowess as a result – based on the grounds of often being unwilling.

Sorry, but uh, given that I've seen applications on lower tiers with considerably more thought put into their strengths and weaknesses, this is just unacceptable.

And the entire history doesn't give many details into Grud's accomplishments.  Which is fine, it doesn't have to, but it does feel like just a lot of rambling with a lot of thought and not much point.

I know you Satan--you are a fantastic roleplayer.  And I know Grud--I love this character!  But given the standards we've set for our apps I just can't accept this as-is.  Do a bit of revising, yeah?  I want to see Grud on Frontier!  I do!
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TheMightyDRGN

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 12:28 am

Hey yo, you can be that old and go through entire generations of equipment. Nothing's permanent, although battle armor like that probably is since it's a status symbol of sorts. Likewise, it's easy to infer strengths from the fact that they're so damn old - he's been able to survive for so long living as something which is renown for dying before they die of natural causes. He sounds like he knows his shit, and that's a strength.

And what's wrong with the Weakness and Backstory? It's detailed the various changes in his thought patterns and personality over the course of his life. It ties into how he's probably a jaded individual at this point who has seen enough shit to otherwise think of most things as insignificant, even when they should be significant. Coupled with motivations and all. I think it's pretty dank, but that's just me.
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Lord Commander Satan

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 12:31 am

^He's right, nobody would stay with the same gun for hundreds of years. Armor would stay because of his /Status/. I detailed it to change throughout Gruds life and his personality itself. I don't really see the problem?
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Filtershakes

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 12:32 am

To add to the feedback on it, I'd like to know why you like krogan. Yes, liking them is cool and all, but what about them grabbed your interest?

And, while this isn't necessary in any way, I'd like to see you do a summarized backstory of the characte (1-2 paragraphs)
You've had this character for quite some time, and while a large tome of a backstory is fine, I often think it's better if you can take a character you've had for a very long time and boil their history down to a quicker format. Just my thoughts on the backstory though, ya don't have to shrink it down to get my approval.

Oh, and yeah, you've got to work on his strengths/weaknesses quite a bit there. Also, add something he can do for the ship other than punch shit to death. He's a millennia-and-a-half year old krogan, surely he's picked up and mastered other skills in the epic of his life.
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Lord Commander Satan

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 12:38 am

Because It's a returning Character?

I don't understand WHY I would have to summarize it when it's put infront of you. Just take the ten minutes to read it.

Krogans are masters at "punching shit to death." what else do you want it to do? He's a Krogan.
He can teach you how to skin a varren in 101 different ways /and/ then cook it in 200 different.

I honestly again don't see why you are picking it apart? I'm sure I find other things to do then punch shit but that's what Krogans are the /best/ at.
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Filtershakes

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:04 am

Lord Commander Satan wrote:

I honestly again don't see why you are picking it apart? I'm sure I find other things to do then punch shit but that's what Krogans are the /best/ at.

http://frontierind.forumotion.net/t2-app-info-and-format

Krogans are Tier 4, so character apps for them need to be held to a pretty high standard.
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Lord Commander Satan

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:05 am

But...I believe this to be /HIGH/ tier?
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TheMightyDRGN

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:06 am

seems like a pretty high standard app to me, especially if you compare it to other applications that have been put up.
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Filtershakes

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:09 am

Lord Commander Satan wrote:
But...I believe this to be /HIGH/ tier?

Great, but it's not up to our standards. We've given you some feedback, take a little time to work on what we've asked you to improve on.
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Gungi

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 12:23 pm

Okay, I don't understand.
I applied for a biotic quarian (which is what, like, tier 5?). My application and backstory was shit compared to this. I understand it's a krogan and has to be held to a high standard, but I honestly think at this point it's a bit ridiculous how nitpicked this is. It's honestly confusing to me.
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Al Capwn



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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:23 pm

Alright lads, for a minute let's just acknowledge that this sheet isn't perfect. The Weaknesses aren't clearly defined, the backstory's good but a tl;dr'd be nice.
Now let's acknowledge why most of this ripping apart is fairly bullshit.
Rose's point about weaknesses is valid, though a little volatile and kind of set the tone a bit high strung early on. Not taking shots atcha Rose, it was just a lil strongly worded. With accomplishments, you have to remember we're talking about a Krogan. Most major accomplishments that would gain a Krogan recognition would be murdering the shit out of either a bunch of people or some big things. Running down various accomplishments would essentially be a string of lines boiling down to "and then Grud killed some things and it was very badass". It's just kind of an unfortunate fact of Krogans that it's kind of hard to run through military accomplishments because inherently they'd have a hell of a lot of them. Finally, if you know Stoon to be a good roleplay and you know and like the character, the sheet doesn't matter. The purpose of a character sheet is to prove to the admin team that the character is good and you have some writing hcops. That's all it's for. There is no other purpose to it. So if you know these things already, there is barely even a need for a sheet at all, much less one with this many bloody paragraphs of backstory.
Moving on to Filter's criticisms now.
The only real criticism filter had, beside strengths and weaknesses, was that he didn't have enough skills. To be polite, that is utter horse shit. This character is a krogan. Krogan are hired for one purpose and one  purpose only. To beat the shit out of things better than anyone else can. I really doubt anyone would want a Krogan heart surgeon or a Krogan engineer or cook. Why? Because first of all giant hands, and second of all it doesn't make any goddamn sense. Krogan culture is all about beating the shit out of the biggest things or the most things. Grud has existed in that culture and mercenary culture for, as Filter said himself, a millennia and a half. Of course his sole marketable skill is going to be beating the shit out of things really good. That's the only skill anyone would actually care about and the only one it would make sense for him to have developed.
Lastly, this whole high teir bullshit. The decision on what is and isn't high tier is so arbitrary it's absurd. Zar's sheet was just about the same quality, maybe lacking a bit in some respects comparatively, and he got accepted no problem. A biotic quarian is most certainly at least a four, taking into account that Quarians are already tier two. So, even assuming that Zar was on the low side of things and was tier four and not off the tier scale altogether, his acceptance and not Stoon's is nonsensical.
But here's the thing: None of the criticisms I just leveled at y'all matter other than one. Because it doesn't fucking matter how good his sheet is. Again, he's a returning player that y'all know is good, y'all know the character, and you still refuse the sheet. That makes no sense. Again, sheets are intended for use as a tool to see what a character is like and see what the player can write like. You already know these things. This sheet is a waste of everyone's time and you're kind of being difficult for the sake of it.
If you want to deny the character, just deny it. Don't feed some bullshit. If you genuinely see problems in it, then bear in mind your previous judgement on sheets and stay consistent at the very least.
Not tryin'a nuke the coals here, but this is kind of an absurd situation.


Last edited by Al Capwn on Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Crystallized0Rose

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PostSubject: Re: Satans fucking great application, not really sorta.   Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:11 pm

Accepted App:
 

With the additions made to the strengths and weaknesses, along with a bit more gear listed and more than just a combat role, I am happy to say that...

Grud is ACCEPTED!!!  Welcome aboard the illegal smuggling ship buddy!  Very Happy
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