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 Bronzy's Application oh boy

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BronzyCoder

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Join date : 2016-07-11

PostSubject: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Tue Jul 12, 2016 7:32 am

Steam Name: BronzyCoder
Steam ID: STEAM_0:1:24758420
Steam Profile Link: http://steamcommunity.com/id/BronzyCoder/
Age: 22
Rp Experience: Maybe around 11 years or so on various Garry's Mod servers, forums, chats, all sorts of things. A decent amount of experience in that has been Mass Effect, too.
How did you stumble upon our server?: Revenant/Advent MEC/Machinist/Boris Johnson told me about it and how good it was and all that good stuff. I like Mass Effect and it sounded interesting, so I checked out the forum and got even more interested.
Tell me a cool Mass Effect Fact: The Kwunu, the only Volus dreadnought, is named after the diplomat who negotiated their client state status with the Turians.

Character Name: Val'Zoma vas Nedas
Character Race: Quarian
Why did you choose this race?: Quarians and their society have always been really interesting to me, and I find the prospect of playing one, especially one that's rejected and outside of their society, a very interesting idea too.
Age: 35
What can your character do for our ship? (Muscle, Maintenance, Triggerman, Comedic Act, etc.): Muscle, Triggerman, Medical Assistance
Character Equipment: Reinforced and modified Quarian Enviro-Suit with boosted shields, armour, Immunoboost injectors, Anti-biotic flooders and integrated VI/HUD support. M-15 Vindicator, M-97 Viper, M-6 Carnifex, Combat Knife, Omni-Tool with Medigel application programs, rudimentary field medical kit.
Moral Alignment: Neutral Evil
Strengths:
+ Excellent Shot
+ Combat and Leadership Experience
+ Medical Training

Weaknesses:
- Selfishness
- Individualist
- Quarian immune system

Character Backstory a.ka. how or why are you here (One paragraph minimum, be creative!):

Val was born to a very typical Quarian family aboard the Shodan, his father an engineer and his mother a nurse. His childhood was uneventful but happy, being surrounded by the typical extended family and loving relatives and friends that many experienced. He didn't feel the same calling as his father toward machinery and technical prowess. Though he felt closer to his mother and had similar interests, he knew that he didn't want to be a doctor. He seemed to long to explore and was a very curious child, getting into trouble more than once for going somewhere he shouldn't have because he just had to know what was on the other side of the door. His attitude worried his father, who was of a neurotic disposition. If Val constantly desired new experiences, would the Flotilla not be enough for him one day, or would he get himself into trouble on pilgrimage with his own curiosity? His concerns continued, and came to a head when Val was soon to go on his pilgrimage. As the day got closer, he unhesitantly told his father that he would be going to Omega - not only for new experiences, but so that he could help people there. Despite the protests of both his parents, he went to the infamous station anyway, a young and naive pilgrim.

Val arrived on Omega, and was unprepared for all of the difficulties and entertainment he would come across. He was a little too generous with his money when it came to helping people, along with paying for the subscription to his Galaxy of Fantasy account; spending a lot of time in his apartment playing an online game didn't really account to wise spending of his credits, nor helping others. Val only realized too late what he was doing by the time he was close to running out of rent and food money. At this point, he had no choice but to get a job, any job. Taking advantage of the Quarian stereotype, he got work in a mechanic's shop nearby, even though he was never really any good at it. He managed to wing it as he went, convincing his boss that the reason things seemed wonky is that they were done on the Flotilla that way. The work was unfulfilling, and the dread slowly set in for Val that he wasn't going to have anything useful to return home with, and at this rate he'd get old as a pilgrim. He became desperate, trying to think of some kind of work he could do that would pay better and could use what skills he had.

Working in a doctor's office was just asking for trouble, with gangs shaking them down and people getting shot more often than he'd like. He continued scrawling, eventually coming across the Blue Suns' website, after seeing a human woman pick a fight with a Turian, the company's unusual symbol being tattooed on her arm. Val had always thought of being a Quarian Marine, and with the skills he could learn here, that was finally possible. He sent in an appliciation to the office the next day, and was told to come down, more because of the Batarian recruitment officer's curiosity at a Quarian signing up than anything. Taking the medical test was a bit more difficult being in an environmentally sealed suit, but it was decided that Val wasn't overly frail or sickly, even by Quarian standards, and his suit would do well enough. He was sent to Zorya soon after to begin his training, and with no prior combat experience or having even been in a fight, there would be a lot of it.

Blue Suns training was, according to Val the second most difficult thing he ever did. He had to get into proper shape with an angry Batarian screaming in his ear and was expected to do just as well as the Human, Turian and Batarian recruits alongside him, some of whom had actually had military experience. He was actually a naturally gifted shot, the only thing he really took to without needing constant practice. He also excelled beyond his class in his first-aid training, and continued to perform well. Along with all of his combat training, he was given some in customer service in order to deal with clients. Val had to sink or swim, and the training helped him come out of his nervous shell as he became more socially competent and confident in himself. It didn't seem that long afterwards that his training was finally finished. Assigned back to Omega, Val began work as a mercenary.

The young Quarian did well at his job, enough to receive promotions and bonuses as he continued. Attempting to seem more legitimate, the Blue Suns offered higher educational courses to its contractors, including the Quarian pilgrim. He was even further educated in medicine, biology and the anatomy of various species and when he completed his courses, was actually granted a diploma, even if it wasn't from the most prestigious of education. He eventually became a squad leader in the Blue Suns, and his personality had shifted much. Credits mattered a lot more to him than they had before, and he wasn't about to let anybody else, whether enemy or friend get in the way of attaining them. He eventually gained enough credits, experience and education that he felt he could return home; even if he did put it off for a couple of months to be more financially secure.

He was welcomed back to the Flotilla, though even in appearance he was much different to before. His suit was now a deep blue, clearly reinforced and with extra shields. He stood taller and prouder, clearly bulkier than the lithe young man he was when he left. He was approached by a Marine recruiter, and with his newfound education and experience, was asked to not only join, but as a medical officer. Figuring that the job probably had a good amount of benefits, he gladly signed up. Basic training was much less harsh now that he was in fighting shape and had experience behind him, and he knew how it must have felt to be a Turian in his own Blue Suns training. His officer's course and advanced medical training were more challenging, but in a way that stimulated him; he began to enjoy being challenged and proving himself, though he was looking beyond them to what he would gain ahead.

Being in the Marines, or the Flotilla in general, was not all it was cracked up to be. Though he did eventually reach the rank of Lieutenant Commander after years of service, Val had begun to stew as he was no longer receiving credits or at least something equivalent to it that he felt he deserved. He wasn't about to contribute to the Flotilla for the sake of it. On top of this, he was angry at the lack of doing something. There wasn't as much involvement in the Geth crisis, and the attack on the Citadel; he demanded to know why they stood idly by and didn't kill them while they had the chance. He was considered unorthodox and a troublemaker, but his ability outweighed his downsides in the eyes of his superiors.

That was, until a mission to lead a Marine team into a derelict ship floating near the Flotilla. With the force accidentally activating the derelict's ship-wide security system, turning on all the LOKI Mechs and sealing blast doors, Val made a decision to send a squad to the computer room to open the blast doors so they could leave. Only afterwards on another remote console did he realize that one of the Marines he had sent into the computer room was privy to information; that his sister, one of the Corporals, was closer with Val than she really should have been. It was difficult to do anything with the suits, but fraternization was the same anywhere, and his career would be more than over. Instead of waiting for the computer room team to get back, he instead ordered his men out immediately once the doors were opened, retreating and leaving the group of fellow Quarians to die to the mechs.

Though his plan succeeded in getting the Quarian team killed, his other men were suspicious. Informing command, another group of Marines were sent in without the knowledge of anyone else, to investigate. Dealing with the mechs due to their superior numbers, they cleared through the derelict to find the dead Marine team; using their bodies, the evidence of radio recordings and the few functioning cameras left on the wreck, before Val knew what was going on, he was being court-martialled. His charges were serious, as he was considered to have essentially murdered the Marines in cold blood. His outbursts during the trial didn't help his case, throwing insults and sarcastic remarks back at questions. Eventually, he was found guilty of the crime and sentenced to one of the worst punishments the Flotilla knew - exile.

Val wasn't sure what to do with himself after being forcibly exiled from the Flotilla. Any ship name was stripped of him, left with 'Nedas' in its place. His resentment festered even more, and he began openly referring to himself as Vas Nedas, brashly disrespecting the gravity of the punishment given to him. He decided to go back to what he knew best, but decided to expand his horizons. He began work as a freelance mercenary and hired killer. He enjoyed success in the Terminus Systems, eventually being contacted about the possibility of a longer-term contract by a group that called themselves the Yoshida Syndicate.
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Filtershakes

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PostSubject: Re: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:20 am

BronzyCoder wrote:

Why did you choose this race?: Quarians and their society have always been really interesting to me, and I find the prospect of playing one, especially one that's rejected and outside of their society, a very interesting idea too.
Moral Alignment: Neutral Evil
Strengths:
+ Excellent Shot
+ Combat and Leadership Experience
+ Medical Training

Weaknesses:
- Selfishness
- Individualist
- Quarian immune system

Just a few concerns on this. First, most quarian characters here are exiled from the fleet (Or completed their pilgrimage then left, something I never really understood as a logical character trait) And although your character's reasoning behind it is interesting, if you were hoping to have him be rejected by the server's quarian population, you'll probably find it to be nearly the exact opposite situation.

The alignment choice however is interesting, and does match up with the personality you've suggested. Although for the strengths/weaknesses, I'd like to see you go over those again, especially since a weak immune system isn't a trait of the character so much as it is just their natural biology. Plus, although his selfishness could be considered as one, it seems like he has no combat weaknesses, aside from of course being confined to the suit.


tl;dr
-Just finding them interesting isn't a good enough answer
-Most quarian OC's are rebels from the fleet, so take that into account if you wanted to use that trait to stand out from the crowd
-Alignment and backstory stand out in a good way
-Strengths/weaknesses need fixing up
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Gungi

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PostSubject: Re: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Tue Jul 12, 2016 1:54 pm

f-filters
if finding them interesting isn't a good enough answer than what the fuck is

And in regards to the application, it's pretty good, but.. it's a quarian. Holy fuck the number of quarians is absurd, I honestly think there needs to be a cap on them.
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Filtershakes

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PostSubject: Re: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Tue Jul 12, 2016 1:59 pm

Gungi wrote:
f-filters
if finding them interesting isn't a good enough answer than what the fuck is

And in regards to the application, it's pretty good, but.. it's a quarian. Holy fuck the number of quarians is absurd, I honestly think there needs to be a cap on them.

Why do you find them interesting? What about them grabs your interest?

And we're not putting caps on species. If we feel there's too many of one species, we'd just make it harder to get newly approved characters for that species. Besides, most of our quarian players are no longer active on the server.
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Brendin



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PostSubject: Re: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Tue Jul 12, 2016 8:20 pm

That is not necessarily true, there are at least five active quarians on at a single time. (well most of the time) compared to the other seven people who are on around the same time. Making the quarians take up just about have of the crew as of right now. :3
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Garmfield

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PostSubject: Re: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:07 pm

Despite the fact that we have so many quarians already on the server, it's good to see one trying to be unique and shit.

+support on my end <3
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Arglack

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PostSubject: Re: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Wed Jul 13, 2016 12:45 am

It took me a whole day to review your app, going back and forth about the betrayal situation, Reading and searching things all over again to see if you're doing it correct, and if I'm correct too,being a quarian is also dangerous enough to go into combat, even if they got Shields and everything, a suit rupture ain't something to play with, can get you killed in minutes.

It's good for me, Accepted.


BOY WE HAVE TOO MANY QUARIANS
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Brendin



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PostSubject: Re: Bronzy's Application oh boy   Wed Jul 13, 2016 1:06 am

At this point I might make a new character... A Krogan perhaps? :3 Good app dood and we'll see you on the server side.
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