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 Coopers App "|MVS| Raik Arglack: "coopers please accept me goddamnit"

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Smithec



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Join date : 2016-07-07
Age : 18
Location : Texas

PostSubject: Coopers App "|MVS| Raik Arglack: "coopers please accept me goddamnit"   Thu Jul 07, 2016 6:37 pm

Steam Name: General Cooper [DarkVault]

Steam ID: STEAM_0:1:109375729

Steam Profile Link: http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198179017187/

Age: 17

RP Experience: I own a 1942 RP, I play tons of star wars RP. I use to do a lot of methRP but not anymore.

How did you stumble upon our server?: I was bored one day and started to scroll down the list of things you can do I Gmod and I saw a mass effect server. Tried to join it but it ask me for a password. Then I look online for NS servers. Got nothing. Then i add a random person from the server to ask them how do I join. They add me and told me how.

Tell me a cool Mass Effect Fact?: Quarians last names are base off of the ship they live off of. That is why they change Tali'Zorah name to Tali'Zorah vas Normandy.

Character Name: Min'Shozu vas Geisha

Character Race: Quarian

Why did you choose this race?: I love the lore when it comes to the Quarians and the Geth. How their point of views on how they point the finger at each other to be the monsters.

Age: 23

What can your character do for our ship?: I am an engineer. I can help when it comes to the engines,computers, and energy core for the ship.

Character Equipment: When in battle I like to have a sniper along with a heavy pistol. when it comes to usable I like to have 3 sticky grenades.

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Strengths:I am a fast thinker when in a sticky situation,Ace shoot with sniper, Good and fixing stuff like engines.

weaknesses: If one of my comrades are in trouble, I tend to put them as main priority over the mission, Bad at close range, tends to over think things, weak immune system, tends to avoid people.

Character Backstory: I lived most of my life on the ship Neema. Theirs not much to say about my child hood. But when I was of the age of 15 I got my orders to work on the ships engines, and coupling for the energy supply. During this time I under go training to become a solder. I ace my class when it came to engineering and sniping. I barley pass basic training for medic, close combat and other class I took. After this time I work my way up the ranks and did a decent job on working on the Neema engines. After some time we got word that one of are main outpost went dark. So they set up a squad of 10. Their was the commander, me, one other engineer, five assaults, two medics.  When we launch we were told to do one of two things. 1.get the base back up if possible. 2.If you cant get all data and what is left get rid of it. When we touch ground their was no signs of life. No body, no nothing but empty buildings. As we got to the main Area we got jump by a large group of Geth. As we ran to get some cover are commander and one of are medics got killed in the open fire. And as this was happening the Geth grew in numbers. So I  gave the order to scrap the mission and get the hell out of here. So we headed into a building stirp area so we did not have to be in the open while travling to the ships as we headed their every thing was going swell untill we got to the end. Their lies about 50 feet of open land. So we set it up where we had two people run ten feet then do cover fire untill the next two could go. it went like this for a while. But sadly this plan did not work out the best. We lost are other engineer, and 3 fine assult soldiers.  I led the crew the best I could but in the end only 4 of us made it out of their. When we hit the area where are fleet was. I message in what happen. When we got back to the ship Neema. I was arrested for being a traitor. Out of the whole council the only one who said that this was stupid was Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema. He said I should not be held on this trial just because I lived to see another day even though my mission was a complete failure. In the end I was kick off the ship sadly. I said my goodbyes to my friends and headed off to a place called omega. When I got their it was tough at first. No one new me nor trust me but after some time I got hired to work at a parts shop for ships. It was easy money but not enough to live off of as a Quarian.  So during my time off I am hired to work on people ships to make them better. But some of the stuff I did lets just say goes off the books. And if I was not doing work I was home asleep or drinking. And it stayed like this for a while and I was actually happy with it. But I did want more when it came to life. So one day a commander came to omega too see about some business. And he/she happened to walk into my shop and ask for some parts I got him/her set up and ask if they needed an engineer. He/she was a bit hesitant at first but said yes. I ask if I could join their crew. He/she accepted me in as one of the crew mates. And that's how I ended up on the ship I am on now.


Last edited by Smithec on Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:10 pm; edited 11 times in total
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Arglack

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Join date : 2016-05-05
Age : 20
Location : Somewhere

PostSubject: Re: Coopers App "|MVS| Raik Arglack: "coopers please accept me goddamnit"   Thu Jul 07, 2016 6:39 pm

I know i made a joke with the app's title, but, you need to improve that backstory, make it longer
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Arglack

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Age : 20
Location : Somewhere

PostSubject: Re: Coopers App "|MVS| Raik Arglack: "coopers please accept me goddamnit"   Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:25 pm

Alright, you're good.

Accepted
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Garmfield

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PostSubject: Re: Coopers App "|MVS| Raik Arglack: "coopers please accept me goddamnit"   Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:55 pm

While Arglack did say to make the backstory longer, be sure to space out paragraphs. A transition from paragraphs is when an idea is changed in a story, or when dialogue swaps over to another character. For example, when I was done with summing up my character's life on Omega, I made a new paragraph dedicated to another idea, Illium and her service in Eclipse.

Just a tip, sorry if you already know this stuff.
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